I almost want to attribute violence against women as a cultural aspect from learning how Native Americans prohibited raping women and how English women did not report violence from Native Americans (Alexander et al). Spanish explorers actually brought their influence of violence against women, in particular rape (Alexander et al). I feel that cultures have adopted the belief of belittling women more and more. For those who are very religious take biblical things too literal since it says that a woman must be submissive, this is how many cultures feel that women should be.
I can only speak from my experiences and what I know about my culture. Mexican men have the stereotype of being “macho”, which has truth to it. I have known of many Mexican women who have suffered rape from family members such as cousins, uncles, brother, and/or father. Some of the domestic violence stories I have come to learn about are due to the fact that the husband holds a grudge against their wife because she was not a virgin, which was due to the fact that they were raped at a young age.
For instance, I know a woman who has a husband who is constantly verbally abusing her, has beaten her when she was pregnant, and she has to do everything for him. She has to cook him something on a daily basis because he will not eat left over’s and she must take his clothes to him after he showers. From my view point he treats her like a servant and maybe even less. This man has such mind control over her that he has manipulated her to do things. For instance, he does not let her wear makeup or fix herself up. If she does he simply ridicules her and says things like, “where is the circus?” Once she went to the store without letting him know, and when she realized that he was about to be home she became so nervous that she forgot her way home. My mother and other people close to her have tried to help, but for some reason she does not do anything to get out. I feel that he has issues of his own, which I cannot fully understand. If you did not know him you would think he is the most noble man because when it comes to helping others, even her family he will do everything in his power to help, however all the anger or whatever it is he has he takes it out on his wife.
I have so many stories within this subject matter, which if of people I know. This issue is such a heart breaking topic for me. Since sex is such a taboo subject in the Mexican culture I guess that parents do not think to tell their children that it is not okay or normal for someone to touch them in inappropriate ways or to let them know if anyone ever does. A child is not going to know anything or why on earth this is happening. This affects children in such ways that parents need to be alert about how their child acts. For instance, if they become aggressive, shy, scared, or even show fear when around a certain person(s).
I think this subject has a wide range of help, education and studies that need to be done.
I know what you are talking about especially in the Mexican culture. My aunt lived the same life. Her husband had mind control and power over her. She was his servant, maid, and treated like a dog. After so many years of physical and verbal abuse, it changed her and she has low self-esteem. She left him many times and always went back. The family never understood this. Finally in her late fifties she decided enough was enough and left him. She has been gone for two years now. She just walked away from everything, the house, furniture, all she took was the clothes on her back. She is happy now, hopefully she won't go back.
ReplyDeleteIt is very hard to see someone you love be abused. It sad because unless they want to get out there is nothing you can do. You cant help someone that doesnt want to be helped. It the same wit h drug abuse. You hate to see your loved one go through the ups and downs but there is nothing you can do about. You just have to let them know that you are there for them and they can call on you WHENEVER they need you!
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